Full of death

That's just how I'm feeling right now. I'm off my shoes... I'm in the VERY wrong direction (wich means with no direction at all).
I'm feeling SO lonely, and I do know that I'm quite 'desperado' to find someone. And that's not the way.
I'm really missing some people in my life, but again, I cannot really think about them. The one I think most of the time, I can't even imagine myself CLOSE to her. Too bizarre, it's al wrong (as in Morphine's lyrics).
All I really have to do now is to resign myself from all the happiness (not really a hard thing to do, under my circunstances...), and be quiet, until this nightmare is over. I'll probably have to cancel all my appointments and plans for 2009. I'll quit some dreams too. And one day I'll have to forgive alt he ppl that hurted me. Even myself (that will be harder, and will take longer...).
For now, the important is that I'm feeling my life (wich life?) full of death. Full of decaying stuffs and situations that just doesn't fits anymore.
I do have lots of love to give. But maybe now it's not the right moment. Not even the right place.
And... If my fate is to be alone, so BE IT!
It's over, just like that.
Enjoy.

Dica: Ghost Town
:P